Friday, October 1, 2010

Calle Hack's Night out

It was a night of firsts for me: 
1. First time at Schuba's for comedy.  
2. First time without a drink in hand at possibly ANY type of show.  
3. AND…first time asked if I like being choked during sex..What?!  

Let me explain.  Schuba's Sunday Best held a great line up of Chicago comedians. Unfortunately,the turn out was slim, but comedians held their own, bringing forth some great material.  Drew Michaels and his political commentary,which is leagues different from the sex/relationship material I heard him perform at Lakeshore when I first moved to Chicago, Tia Ayers with raw wit and spectacular comedic presence, not to forget, Andrew Holter, who performed with perfection and is one to watch. Bob Palos hosted the open mic and kept the energy up, but it was my encounter with comedian Marty DeRosa that was all new comedic territory for me.  "Do you like being choked during sex?" Marty was taking a poll of the audience.  

The polling demographic quickly filtered to addressing the female members of the audience. At this point in the night, there was maybe two females. Myself being one of the two.  "You," eye contact made.  Marty was talking to me, "Like being choked during sex?". Cue spotlight. Cut to flushing face and sweaty palms.  I've seen this happen many times before, comedians working their audiences, honing in on specific members and riffing from there. I've seen this work and I've seen this be a disaster. I've seen this enough, though, to know that the comedian holding the mic is the one with the power. Often audience members try to be funny and turn the tables, but rarely is this a good idea. Being witty is their job. They do this shit every night.  Don't challenge them. Comedians will win.  "No," is ALL I could get out and a small shaking of my head. Eye contact still locked. Question answered. Now, it seems there is no turning back.

Marty: "Are you guys together?"
Me: "No."
Marty: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Me: "No."
Marty: "Are you ever not composed?"
Me: "Yeah, of course."
Marty: "Really?"
Me: "Yeah."
Marty: "Are you a comedian?"
Me: "No."
Marty: "So, really? You don't like being choked?" Me: "Yes."

I smiled through it, but it was honestly the most wracking thing. Truth is, I've always had a "neck thing". My neck is off limits. It is the only body part I absolutely cannot stand to be touched. So, sorry, Marty, choking is not my thing.  Whether, I handled that first encounter well or not, I got through it. Thank you, Marty, for popping that cherry. Schuba's Sunday Best is definitely one to check out!

Contributing writer
Calle Hack