As a blog about the Chicago Comedy scene we think it's extremely important to actually include voices/opinions of working comics. That's why were proud to announce that Junior Stopka, winner of The Chicago Reader Best Stand-Up Comedian Of 2010 Award will now be a contributing writer. Here's his first Article!
Interview with Simmons McDavid by Junior Stopka
Simmons McDavid's dry and cockamamie delivery makes him so fun to watch on stage. He is definitely on the list of the great underground Chicago comedians. His unassuming southern drawl, and soft spoken persona makes audiences surprised at what journey they're going to take in his stories. He can take any subject and devolve it into bodacious and hilarious nonsense. "Is he really going to eat another Cesar Salad before eating a Chicken Cesar salad? You bet your BALLS I will..." I caught up with McDavid outside of Bootleg Comedy at The Pitch bar where he was about to perform to a packed audience.
JS: Why did you come to Chicago?
SM: Because it seemed like high school, and it really is... its like the second to last tier. I guess you would say a teardrop. I'm about to give up.
JS: Are there any other comedians that you think are really good, that don't get any press in Chicago?
SM: Joe McAdam. He kind of does anti-humor, which is a stupid term because it's just funny. Its comedically smarter than most people.
JS: Do you do any racial humor ever?
SM: (laughs)No...I do have a racial joke tonight, its about how I'm a black woman in real life.
JS: Where did you get this cool debonair style of clothes you always wear?
SM: Probably from the Debonair era.
JS: You rock the hat though?
SM: Yeah, I lost it. Man, I got wasted the other night, got into a fight with these two dudes. (laughs)
JS: Do you have any jokes about balls?
SM: Yeah, there's no balls in Chicago, but there are some good ball jokes.
JS: What do you not want to see, as far as standup, on stage? What do you stay away from?
SM: Predictability, and giving them what they want. Yeah, or people that start off with, so I was jacking off the other day, then they'll pause.
After his set, all the comedians gathered around to get really drunk, to forget about reality, and the heavy hitters of the show tonight gave praise to Simmons.
Adam Burke: Simmons McDavid is a very funny man, who had the best set tonight. You can put that on tape.
JS: What is this dry ribald style you've perfected over the years?
Adam Burke: Before you answer that, have Junior define ribald.
JS: Adam, during your Upton Sinclair bit, I pulled my pork, which is my penis...
Adam Burke: Oh, ok. And what's the deal with your dry pulled pork sense of humor?
(laughs all around)
JS: If you had to shoot anybody in the head, anybody, who would you shoot, besides Barack Obama, obviously. Ted Kennedy?
SM: Yeah, I mean John's already got shot in the head, so might as well. Shoot him. It's like a whore. It's like yeah, I'll fuck her... because everyone else has. It won't mean anything. So I'll shoot him in the head.
JS: Have you ever fucked a fat woman?
SM: Once. And honestly, if I wasn't so embarassed about it, I would have done it again, cause it's fun. It really is. It's like the Mohicans said."Thank you wild elk for your meat... and for fertalizing the land, cause I'm sure you shit a lot because she's fat."
JS: Indian faggots, you like em or not?
SM: (laughs) Indian faggots, good for the North Atlantic trade agreement?... or just GAY?
JS: You know syphilis was a gay disease for the indians. Fucking the gay white man. I don't like gay white settlers.
SM: LIke colonial Willamsburg. I know what you mean. But colonial Williamsburg was like Key West. And the blacks were like "oh, what up dog?" and white people were like "Oh, please don't slurp your soup"
JS: What's the biggest place you performed?
SM: Lakeshore, In their last week. They had to sell all their alcohol.
JS: Were you there when we broke the popcorn machine, and I dumped a bucket of water on Drew Michael, and Marty went up naked?
SM: No, I saw you close it out, though. You called the crowd Matt Damons. And for some reason that was the truth. Like, I really don't know what that means, but these people are a bunch of fucking Matt Damons.
Be his facebook friend here, and see him around town. You can see him at most open-mics and showcases around the city.