
Ladies and gentlemen, I love the Chicago comedy scene. Ironically, I hate the
Facebook group of the same name, but I couldn't be a bigger fan of the real thing. The level of talent and drive here is constantly inspiring and, to a lesser extent, intimidating. We just got through
Just For Laughs week, and I'll be goddamned if
our local guys didn't hold their own with (and in some cases eclipse) the professional, out-of-town talent.
I can say with the utmost sincerity
that all I want is to see this thing grow and evolve. I want to see
people continue to step up their game until this town is choked with
the best talent in the country. It is in that spirit that I am
offering this bit of unsolicited advice. Please, for the love of God,
stop talking about
zombies.
I can't stress this enough. The fact
that there are successful TV shows and movies and internet memes
involving zombies does not mean that anything you say on the subject
is in any way interesting. I know, I know; you're the type of person
who would do well/have no chance in a
zombie apocalypse. Either way,
you lost me.

You see, here's the problem: good stand
up, ideally, should be about revealing some sort of truth, whether it
be about the performer, or society at large (which, when done right,
ends up still revealing something about the performer). When you
choose to talk about how you would respond to a zombie attack, you
are essentially putting the truth about yourself behind at least two
layers of detachment. It's bad enough that you are talking about what
you would do in a completely unrealistic (and over discussed)
hypothetical situation, but what you're actually doing is talking
about what a completely fictionalized version of yourself would do in
a completely unrealistic (and over discussed) hypothetical situation.
Oh, you're the type of guy who would just get a baseball bat and
start swinging? Because, I could have sworn you were the type of guy
who just I just saw putting a lime in his sale price imported beer.
Plus, all the blogs and shit are
talking about zombies. You're just going to be one more on the pile.
If you just can't fight the urge to talk about something horror
related, maybe try to be a little more creative. Here are a few
suggestions:
Mummy invasion
Attack of self-actualized bees
Sexy (but deadly) she-wolves
-
Aquatic self-actualized bees
What I'm getting at is this: Chicago is
poised to be the epicenter of a veritable
comedy renaissance, and the
only thing that's standing in the way is a couple of people at open
mics talking about zombies. Shape it up, people!
Contributing Writer:
Dan Friesen